13th - 21st November (Chilling out in Oz)

Most of our evenings in Port Macquarie are spent drinking and chatting. In the day, we generally sit around the Ozzie Pozzie yard, drink tea and discuss what we are going to do with the day until around midday when we usually go to the beach, swim, attempt to bodyboard, attempt keepie ups with the haki sack, read, chat and laze around. On the way back to Ozzie Pozzie we might pick up some food and a couple of cheeky beers.

I did manage to get away for a bike ride one day, the free bike was hard work and I attempted to do a fairly large curcuit only to find that the free river ferry crossing only ran in the morning and evening so I had to come back without seeing the winery and Koala petting zoo. I did see my first kangaroos in a field though.

A new member of the group is Kevin, a 30 year old from Bolton who has an 18 year old girlfriend that he has been with for 3 years, this is a source of constant amusement to the rest of us.

After 'a quick pint' at the macca on the way back from the beach turned into a quick skinful, we picked up a slab and went back for food. When the beer ran out we drank some left over goon (red wine) from a goon bag. Rhys mentioned the war once or twice in front of a few germans and then passed out on a sofa so that I could play human buckaroo by balancing a load of books on his head.

There isn't loads to see or do in Port Macquarie, but what there is (for example, the rainforest centre) I would have liked to see but was too busy enjoying myself.

I took the greyhound to Coffs Harbour as I had already bought the pass while Rhys and Rich made their own way there. We met up at Aussitel backpackers which is bigger and livlier than Ozzie Pozzie with about 80 mostly younger backpackers. Preparing food in the kitchen is hard work. We signed up for the punch night and drank our fill of vitamin c without getting even a little squiffy. Punch night included entrance to a club later where they had a wet t-shirt competition (which I only stumbled upon whilst looking for Rhys) and a foam filled dance floor.

The next day was the tea marathon, the weather had changed from super hot to icy cold winds so we sat at the hostel, drank tea, chatted and played cards. I did manage a short trip to the botanic gardens with a french and german girl that we befriendeed. Ended up staying up chatting with Rhys until 02.00 about everything from family feuds to abortion (without any alcohol!!!)

Rhys picked up his bacpack and thumbed his way out of Coffs Harbour. The weather is good again so Rich and I stayed another day, we walke to Muttonbird island which juts out from the mainland and gave us some excellent views, it was incredibly windy and the waves crashed against the rocks with amazing force. At one point Rich got quite close to the edge and just after he moved away a massive wave came up and crashed down where he had been stood. After a nice lunch we hired bikes, along with Thomas (ze very tall german who claims that germans don't have mullets!) to see the famous big banana. Not exactly a highlight of the trip!

Rich and I booked a dorm in Belongil beachouse, Byron Bay which is described in the lonely planet as 'aimed at a slightly more mature crowd', despite being quite immature we felt a bit old for the Aussitel kids. As with Port Macquarie, I felt like I hadn't really seen much of Coffs Harbour and I didn't manage to contact some people there who I met in North Vietnam and had offered to put me up which was quite bad.

I arrived at the beachouse after Rich and was surprised to see Rhys who had phoned Rich to find out where we were staying. We are a 15 minute walk from the centre of Byron Bay in a place that is apparently quieter and cheaper than the places in town that are full of 'schoolies'. More of the same daytime activities at the beachouse and on the nice close beach. The free shuttle bus took us into town where we were planning to buy food from the supermarket, but a quick beer turned into 9 and that was the end of that idea!

Rhys had planned to move on the next day but had missed more than half of his back with sun cream and was in agony, Rich despite being dark already was also a bit burned and the pair of them stayed out of the sun for a day while i went for a walk along the beach towards town. The town end of the beach is busy with schoolies and the pleasant town is quite full of them as well. Later met Rich and Rhys for a couple of beers but this time managed to go to the supermarket after. Back at the pad I made a nice chicken and veg stir-fry and discovered that blackbean sauce and goon mix very well. There was plenty of food and I got merry on the goon.

The next morning we made a fantastic full english breakfast. I took the shuttle bus to town and walked around the coastal trail and light house which took most of the day and had some amazing views, at one point i could see the ocean through 270 degrees. In the evening we drank and went to a club that I can hardly remember but I do remember how full of stars the sky was when we walked along the beach back to the hostel.

12th - 13th November

An early start and a six and a half hour bus journey got me to Port Macquarie for 13.30. I hadn't expected a great deal from this place, just a useful stopping off point. At the small and friendly 'Ozzie Pozzie backpackers', the friendly chap who picked me up from the bus station introduced me to some backpackers who were hanging around and I met more later. He also gave me a quick tour of the beatiful, small and laid back town in the minibus. I took a free bike hire to the Koala hospital and rode along the lovely coastline to the supermarket, back to the hostel where I cooked my snags on the barbie. In the evening a few of us went to 'the Macca' where the bands were loud and average at best, the atmosphere was great and we talked and drank until late.

Among others, I have made friends with Rhys, from Melbourne who is mostly hitching his way around the country and will eventualy get married in Perth where his fiance is waiting. He says hitch hiking is easy and has been picked up by an 18 year old girl and an old woman! He is good fun and laughs at the word 'Jubblies' and Rich from Reading who is also a good laugh an adrenaline junkie, skydiver and a bit of a smooth operator.

9th-11th November (Sydney)

The YHA is a big place over 9 floors, the room has two bunk beds and is big and clean enough. Despite the number of people staying here it doesn't seem as easy to meet people as I'd expected, the people in my dorm come and go at different times to me, I creep out every morning as they are still in bed. Over the next few days I do loads of walking, take loads of photos and my feet are killing me. An art gallery with some exhibits by Nelson Mandella, an observatory, the opera house, harbour bridge, botanic gardens, a ferry to Manly and back to get good views of the harbour, Sydney tower observation deck, 'sculptures by the sea' along the beautiful Bronte to Bondi beach coastal walk on a blisteringly hot day, and a ten dollar haircut (not skinhead this time!).

I even went to the opera house playhouse to see a play called 'The Hospital'for 35 dollars; now I don't consider myself to be an expert critic of the arts but this was the biggest load of old tosh I have ever seen! With a made up language and ridiculous dances, I clapped politely at the end and left in shock. While sorting out my rucksack on my last night to leave in the morning, I found an unopened bottle of red at the back of the locker, forgotten by a previous occupier, with no glasses and no friends, I sat in the tv room and drank like a wino straight from the bottle. I enjoyed the sights of Sydney but was alone the whole time, which was hard after my good time in Melbourne and Merrigum, thankully this was about to change.

2nd-8th November (Down on the farm)

I had an excellent time in Melbourne, Karen and Christophe were very hospitable and it was so nice to be with friends, it was like a relaxing break from travelling, so thank you Karen and Christophe for making my first impressions of Oz so good. My next stop was at a dairy farm about 2 hours north of Melbourne at a place called Merrigum (near Shepperton), I had met the farm owners, Glenn and Linley when i was in India and they had been nice enough to invite me over. So for the next few days i was treated to more friendly hospitality and fun on the farm.

Whilst I was at the farm, some of Glenn and Linleys family members came and went, their daughter Shelley, her partner Lance, sons Darcy (3) and Finley (18 months) were around for a while, and another grandson Nathan showed up for a while. Everyone was very friendly and it felt like I was getting a real slice of Aussie family life. Glenn reminds me a bit of my old grandad, he is a bit of a grumpy old man who complains about all the noise the kids make, he has a strong accent so that sometimes I have no idea what he is saying but I just know it is funny. He refers to everyone as pricks!

My typical day at the farm started at 05.30 when i would get up to milk the cows (Glenn had already herded them over to the milking shed by this time), wearing my overalls, boots and essential peaked cap i would put the suckers on and off of the cows as they lined up in the shed. By about 07.00 the artificial insemination people would turn up and stick a hand up a couple of cows arses (they are a NZ couple on a working holiday and gave me a contact address in NZ within 5 minutes of meeting me). We would wash down all the cow shit off the yard (I am highly trained in this area), feed the youngest calves some milk and watch as they greedily suck at the rubber teets, feed some grain to the older calves, then head to the house for breakfast. During the day there may be some odd jobs for me to do; i learnt how to drive the tractor and shifted a load of hay bails which really made my hayfever flare up but was great fun. Shelley took plenty of photos and video footage of me at work. Paul and John, my country bumpkin cousins would be impressed to see the townie at work, covered in shit and sneezing like mad! Around midday Glenn and I would have a couple of stubbies with lunch while sitting in the shade of the back garden. Afternoon milking was around 15.00 and I would use one of the motorbikes to herd the cows towards the shed. More beers and food for the rest of the day - bliss.

One day we went to Echuca, the oldest inland port in Oz, where Glenn, Linley, Shelley, the kids and I went on a paddle steamer, had a picnic (with beer) and some ice creams.

One day, i skipped the morning milking but went with Lance to chop firewood. Lance taught me where to make the cuts and wearing leather chaps I chopped a tree down with a chainsaw and managed to make it land roughly where i was aiming.

If Linley's scales are correct I have lost three quarters of a stone since I started traveling, I'm pretty sure I'll be putting weight back on in Oz though.

There is quite a lot of time to think on the farm, this is the kind of thing I think about: Isn't it strange that over thousands of years the cow has evolved with udders and milk to feed it's young and that over several decades man has evolved a massive industry with hi-tech machinery in order that we instead of the calves benefit from this evolution? Also, with artificial insemination and selective breeding, we make sure that future cow generations will be fatter, have bigger udders and produce more milk. Some cows have teets at eye level when I am in the pit, some hang lower, some are down below my chest level and very close to the cows hoofs. Rather than stooping down to see what I am doing, I have to feel for the teet with my index finger at the rim of the sucker. Some teets are so thick it is a struggle to get them in the sucker, some so small that the suckers don't want to stay on. Sometimes the cow fidgits and tries to kick but their movement is quite restricted and it is quite easy to move your hands out of the way - the bigger danger is the shit and piss, the peaked cap is indispensible! Oh, and I did bang my head so hard that I had pain in my neck for 2 days. Yep, there is a lot of time to think!

As Glenn says, being a dairy farmer doesn't take a genius, but he does have a lot to think about; to buy or sell cows, field rotation and irrigation, breeding, disease etc. Australia, is facing another year of drought, there are very many vast areas of brown dry fields and farmers going out of business or killing themselves, Glenn is lucky he still has a reasonable supply of water for irrigation and I think he has a pretty good life. There is a fair amount of time available to 'sit back and lick your ears' as Glenn would say.

After giving some serious consideration to hitching to Sydney, I booked a 4000km pass for the greyhound bus costing 620 Aussie dollars (about 2.5 dollars to the pound) and booked three nights in Sydney's central youth hostel association(YHA) for 105 dollars. The first few hours of the journey were flat and mostly brown fields but gradually became more hilly. About an hour from Sydney I saw the first housing estate with two storey houses.

24th Oct - 2nd Nov (Australia here I come, you ripper!)

My final day of diving in Tioman was a little dissapointing after such a great dive two days ago, a wreck of an old fishing boat which attracted one big school of fish and not much else. I took the 13.00 boat back to Mersing which had to stop offshore due to the low tide, and smaller boats came out to transfer us to the jetty. Over a couple of days spoke to STA travel and Qantas and eventually managed to bring Melbourne flight forward so that I could be there for the weekend. I hadn't really spoke to anyone much for a few days so I was looking forward to meeting Karen and Christophe in Oz. Bryan Robson has joined Steve Mcmahon on the ESPN team. The 11.00 bus to Singapore dropped us at the Malaysia border for a very quick exit stamp, back on the bus for a couple of minutes then dropped us at Singapore immigration where we queued for an hour before getting back on a bus for the rest of the journey to the centre (and I thought Singapore was super efficient). I took a taxi to the very nice YMCA which was full so walked as far as the Hawaii hostel and stopped there as it was about to rain; not a pretty place but cheap. My room consisted of two bunk beds, my room mates were two Japs and a local guy who was quite friendly. I found a nice restaurant then came back and watched 'Domino' starring Kiera Knightley on the local chap's portable VCD player.

After a McDonalds brekky, I went to the Qantas office to discover my flight from Rio to Blighty doesn't look possible as they are all booked as soon as they are available; STA hadn't told me this when they said all I had to do was ring and tell them what date i needed (I couldn't book it at the time because the computer system cannot book flights more than a year ahead). I'll make some more inquiries with STA but it looks like i may have to pay extra and fly via Madrid. Singapore is one of the best and cheapest places to buy electronics so if I was going to replace my damaged camera anywhere it had to be here. After much deliberation I came away with a nice new Fuji for 450 dollars(S), about 150 pound. I took the excelent metro to the excellent airport where i had a much needed shower for $9. Sat with an aussie girl called Karen on the flight and spoke to her quite a bit in between eating a good in-flight meal, watching a decent aussie film 'Train to Freo' and listening to a good in-flight cd 'Sergio Mendes - Timeless' (kind of R&B samba) which I have since acquired onto my mp3 player along with the Killers new one (thanks to Christophe). I tried to sleep, I even used the eye mask, but not a wink.

I had arrived in Oz and collected my luggage by about 05.45 and the 06.00 bus to Melbourne centre was quick due to the lack of trafic which meant I got to Karen's house far too early and sat around in the freezing cold until Karen woke up. I didn't expect any cold weather in Oz but for the first couple of days the skies were clear blue and the wind made it feel like winter. Karen is an old Swindon friend and Christophe is soon to be her husband, their place is nice, spacious and really central. I spent some time putting photos onto my blog using Christophes computer, slept for an hour, went for a massive burger and bought the Oz lonely planet for full price (they didn't have any fake copies!), went back and started planning. After a couple more hours of sleep, I went with Karen to a Japanese restaurant for my first taste of sushi which was ok. Christophe joined us later for a few beers and we talked until late.

My first full day in Melbourne was a Saturday. Christophe, Kaz and I went to the Queen Victoria market where we bought Shrimps for the barbie! (among other things). Chilled out for most of the day, ate some Spag bol, drank red wine and later met up with Roo and Belinda for drinks (Roo is a friend of Richards who is a good friend from my uni days, Roo moved over here recently to be with his aussie girlfriend Belinda). Christophe, Kaz and I went for some Japanese food but this time i wasn't so adventurous and had chicken.

On Sunday, the three of us took the tram to St Kilda beach, had lunch and a good look around before returning for a BBQ with Roo and Belinda and Christophe's friends, Andrei and Anna. Kangeroo steak is very nice and according to Christophe, very similar to horse meat, the dirty snail eating b@startds! as Catherine Tate would say (no offence Christophe!) I ate until i thought i might explode.

The weather heated up from Monday onwards and over the next few days I went to the old Gaol where Ned Kelley was hanged (I listened in on a school party's guided tour), the immigration museum, the aquarium, the excellent view of Melbourne from the Rialto tower, the amazing 'earth from above' exhibition (I recommend you see some of these pictures - they may be on the internet) and the Melbourne museum. In the evenings we ate food, drank beer and wine, talked and watched films; 'The Castle' is good aussie humour, 'Wolf Creek' is scary and 'Supersize me' is scary as well!

18th - 23rd October - The black jack scam, Singapore

After sorting out my memory card, i walked around the shopping mall in search of boxer shorts, i bought 2 pairs yeterday, supposedly large, turned out to be for a large action man (no jokes about the lack of genitals please!), the ones from the department store said 31-33 inch waist, thought they would be safe, but no, I am now singing surprano! A local woman asked me the time and started talking to me and as i had bugger all to do i agreed to meet her family. It was supposedly her brothers house, her cousin prepared some nice food which i ate and then her brother, a card dealer at a casino showed me some tricks. His slight of hand was amazing, no matter how much he or i shuffled he could always turn exactly the cards he wanted. He told me about a bloke from Dubai who would be coming round later who had stitched him up by saying he would give him a percentage of his winnings and then giving him much less the previous night. He said i could play the Dubai bloke at black jack with him as dealer making sure i got the right cards and he'd take a cut of the winnings, it was fool proof but i didn't like it and all of a sudden the guy turned up for a game. The brother had given me 200 dollars to play with, which i must have doubled 4 times in 4 hands, at which point, on cue i said the next game would be my last. I had 21 so couldn't lose, the dealer was signalling that the guy had 20, but he raised the stakes to 50,000 dollars (which he placed on the table) but requested to see some proof that i could cover my losses if i had to. The dealer asked if i had a credit card or travellers cheques or something, my credit card was in my money belt and although i knew i couldn't lose the game, i wondered what would happen once i took the card out, so I claimed not to have any money at all, my travellers cheques are at the hotel, the dealer asked how much (to which I was very vague) and the game was declared void and I was driven to where i wanted to go (shitting myself the whole way). I went to the Petronas towers, at 84 storeys high they claim it was the tallest but is now second, but they only take us as high as the 42nd floor skywalk between the towers. That night my KFC food poisoning set in with fever and bad stomach and little sleep. The morning bus to Mersing started ok but by the end i had a headache and was dehydrated. The Mersing heat was unbearable so I checked into an empty dorm room in the East Coast Hotel and laid on my bed, read 'First they killed my Father' (I recommend you read it)and slept. I forced myself to eat a few mouthfuls of Pakora in the evening (my only meal of the day), went to an internet cafe, sat down, farted and left very quickly. One pair of my new tiny pants straight in the bin!

The next day started bad but after a while in the toilet i was feeling better. I took a boat to Tioman island, Salang resort and checked in to a very dingy chalet with mosquitos and ants running riot. It's only 10 metres from the sea when the tide is in though so i sleep well listening to the sound of the waves while insects feed on me. Malaysia is currently covered by a thick haze caused by deliberate forest fires in Indonesia, this happens every year and stays for maybe a month until the monsoon washes it away. The sun still manages to burn its way through though and the beach is very nice despite the onslaught of sand flies biting my feet. There are loads of chinese and indians here on holiday and because of some indian festival there are bangers going off at all times of day and night on the beach or in the street without any warning - it's lucky my stomach has hardened up or this may have caused another accident!

My four days here were spent reading on the beach and scuba diving. It felt good to be back in the water after 3 months and we did some excellent dives in groups of 3 or 4 off of a small boat. I saw my first turtle amongst many other things but the best dive was like an adventure playground of rocks and coral - it took a good bit of buoyancy control to get through all the narrow gaps and through the tunnels especially as there was a bit of surge to contend with - my best dive ever, having now done 14.

Unfortunately, as this is low season, there isn't too much to do in the evenings; there are a couple of restaurants but my appetite has not fully recovered yet and there is one bar. I did manage to watch the Liverpool v Man U game in an internet cafe where the local lads all cheered for Man U who won 2-0. I finished 'first they killed my father' and also 'the sorrow of war' which is a very dark and depressing fiction.

On my final day, i did a wreck dive which turned out to be not as exciting as I had expected, took a boat back to Mersing and tried to bring forward my Melbourne flight so that I could be there for the weekend, but it isn't possible so now I am wondering how to kill a few days.

7th - 17th October (Visa fiasco)

My last day in Mui Ne, i awoke at 07.00, ran on the beach (very briefly),
then watched some locals paddling out to sea in upturned tea cups, pulling in the nets and sorting through all the fish and crabs. Booked a flight online from Siam Reap(Cambodia) to Kuala Lumpur(Malaysia) for the 17th Oct., took a bus to HCMC, booked an 8 dollar room and watched the premiership goals from last week. I booked a two day tour to end in Phnom Penh for 24 dollars and later watched 'School of Rock' and the first half shambles of England against Macedonia.

The tour took us by bus to Cai Be for a motorised boat on the Mekong - the heat and fumes on the boat sent me to sleep. Lunch, then back on the boat and bus to Chau Doc on the border where we stayed the night in a cheap hotel - I had to share a room with a Japanese chap who started a brief high pitched wailing in the middle of the night. I met a Canadian girl called Siobahn.
In the morning there was a row boat tour of the Chau Doc fish farms (see how these women row whilst facing forward - weird!) then a big boat to Lek Luang (Cambodia). The tour leader checked the passports and told me i would pay a big fine for overstaying my visa (not what the travel agent had said!) and that i should go back to HCMC to sort it out. At the border, the tour leader said they were unable to process my fine and i would have to return to HCMC and there was nobody i could argue with so i was getting quite frustrated. At the last minute they took 60 dollars, plus 20 for the Cambodia visa and i was just relieved to not have to go back. Arrived in Phnom Penh in the rain and went with Siobahn to Spring hotel recomended in the lonely planet - it worked out cheaper to get a twin room with air con. We walked to Chaay Heng restaurant also recommended in the lonely planet, a basic place with plastic chairs spilling onto the pavement packed with locals. The food was cheap and fantastic, we went again the next night. I bumped into Ben and Kate who I'd met in Hoi An so went for red wine with them.

Siobahn and I went via tuk tuk to the S21 museum and killing fields in the rain along the bumpiest road ever.
S21 was once a school, it became a prison, and now a museum.
The Khmer rouge were meticulous in their records of prisoners and the black and white photos of all the men, women and children they killed were haunting. The rain and thunder added to the sombre mood of the day. 8,985 bodies were exhumed from mass graves at the killing fields, possibly 2 million were killed across the country. I can't really describe it, you just have to see it to believe it. There were beggers with missing limbs and one with a badly burnt face outside S21. Siobahn and I spent 20 dollars on a 50kg bag of rice which we took to an orphanage where we played with the kids for a few hours - they stole my camera and took loads of photos.
It was nice to spend time around these poor kids laughing and playing after such a depressing day.

The six hour bus journey to Siam Reap cost 4 dollars - we were pounced on by tuk tuk drivers before we could even get off the bus, all shouting over each other with arguments like "I spoke to you first" for the sake of a dollar fare. Of course they want to get you into their hotel and also provide you with a lucrative tour of Angkor. We went to the 'Heart of Angkor' hotel, 12 dollars for a twin room and booked our motorbike riders for the next 2 days (it is illegal to hire your own motorbike here). Siam Reap seems very nice with smart little bars and restaurants clustered together in a street that is off limits to the local begging community of kids, women with babies and people with missing limbs. There is a lot of begging here.

An 05.00 wake up for an Angkor Wat sunrise that was obscured by cloud despite the generally clear, hot day.
My 1 week pass cost 60 dollars. Angkor Wat was very busy and absolutely massive but I was more impressed with Bayon
(giant faces carved into the stone) and Ta Prohm where trees grow amongst the ruins and Angelina Jolie came to film tomb raider.
There are many ancient temples to explore, dating from ninth to 13th century - miraculously spared by US bombs, how refreshing!
There are kids at every stop, selling t-shirts, postcards and souveniers or just begging, they are really persistent.
On the way back i saw this... Later we went to the excellent Khmer kitchen then i went for a 'seeing hands massage', recommended by the lonely planet for massage by blind people - it was excellent and only cost 4 dollars, I gave her five just because I am that kind of guy!

The next day we had a more civilised start time and the sights were mostly not as impressive. The heat was oppressive with very little shade. We finished up at a high spot near to Angkor Wat to watch the sun set. With bright sun in the west and dark clouds moving in quickly from the east, the sun was soon covered and the rain was heavy. I'm pretty sure one clap of thunder and lightning were less than 100 metres away - pretty lucky for Friday 13th! I had my waterproof coat but my walking shoes were soon soaked through. I took a couple of photos which i think damaged my camera which now doesn't work properly. I bumped into Michael and Aine who I'd met briefly in Hoi An and Mui Ne so we went out for food and drinks with them later. We went to Dead Fish bar where we fed the crocodiles.

The next day Siobahn went off on a motorbike, I lazed about for a bit then hired a mountain bike for 3 dollars. I found the land mine museum, a Khmer heritage display and then went to Angkor Wat again. The lense on my camera has stopped working, i have since had a quote of about 50 pound to get it fixed so i will continue to hold open the slidey thing with a tooth pick every time i turn it on! I have started to find Siobahn quite annoying in a "there was this one time, at band camp....." kind of way. On Sunday I had a lovely roast chicken dinner at the Irish pub and spent most of the day reading and watching tv. The most noteworthy adventure was that the bathroom door handle was faulty so that when i went in for a shower i managed to lock myself in, i must have been banging on the door and walls for about ten minutes before the hotel bloke came to let me out. I met up with Ben and Kate in a restaurant/bar where the beers are 25c if you buy food. I had spring rolls, ginger chicken and 10 draught beers for 6 dollars - bargain! We discussed high brow issues such as poverty and corruption.

At 07.00 a motorbike was waiting to take me to three of the further afield sights;
Beng Melea are excellent overgrown ruins, Kbal spean is a waterfall and river with rock carvings and lingas in and beside the river - the road here was terrible and not really worth the effort, and Bantay Srei made from red stone with some intricate carvings.

Next day, i went to burn a cd but the memory card was corrupted again - i managed to get most of it back again in Kuala Lumpur which is where i flew to today. At the airport i found i had to pay an extra 25 dollars in airport tax, the price of the flight now is making me wish i had gone overland through Thailand, i could have climbed at Rayley beach again. Despite studying the lonely planet, i haven't got a clue what to do in Malaysia or Singapore. In Kuala Lumpur (KL), the public transport seems pretty good, the food is cheap (but i did get food poisoning from the KFC) and the hostel is cheap and nasty! Beer is expensive, from 6R (1 pound) in a shop to 14R in a street restaurant. I watched waterworld in the hostel commen area whilst trying to plan my next move.

28th September - 6th October (The tropical storm)

There were a few people going to the same hotel as us as we got off the train in Hue; the older aussie couple who i'd met Monday and a young NZ couple, Oscar and Fleur. Daz and I arranged to share a car and driver to go to Vinh Moc tunnels, it cost us 10 dollars each and it was great to explore the tunnels in such a small group at our own pace instaed of being with a bus load of people in these confined spaces. Vinh Moc's tunnels are not as famous or extensive as those at Cu Chi near Ho Chi Minh city (HCMC) and they have more headroom despite not having been altered much to suit tourists (unlike Cu Chi). Some say Vinh Moc tunnels are better although having seen pictures from Cu Chi i wish i had gone there as well. In both cases, people lived for sometimes months and years underground, babies were born and raised here and resistance launched from here - it's pretty amazing to see.

On the way back, our car was stopped by police and we thought we might get a taste of police corruption and have to hand over money, we had no idea what was going on as they took our driver away for a few minutes, it turned out to be a speeding ticket.


The next morning we shared a car with the NZ couple again to visit three temples - the weather switching between baking sun, overcast, and pouring rain. We took the tourist bus to Hoi An and checked in to the hotel 'Hai au' that Declan had recommended. The Aussie and NZ couples were there as well. It was a little out of the town but the room and staff were nice. 13 dollars per room. Hoi an is famous for it's cheap tailored suits which Daz was keen to arrange, I don't wear suits as often as Daz and hadn't planned to get one but they were really cheap and looked great so I decided to replace my 'Suits You' suit that i have been wearing to all smart gatherings for the past ten years with my own tailored suit costing 45 dollars which Daz was good enough to take back to dear old blighty for me. Daz got 2 suits, one the same material as mine and we looked well smart. I hope i don't lose or gain too much weight before i go home or I'll end up looking like a sack of spuds for baby Casey's christening! During our time in Hoi an we checked out all the happening bars and restaurants and played a bit of pool. Silver tongued Daz soon got friendly with an American girl called Jess.

In the pouring rain, Daz and I took a bus to My Son, the site of ancient Cham relics from 8th to 13th centuries, temples living areas etc almost totally destroyed by US bombs which pissed me off a bit as it is something of a recurring theme! With news of a bad storm approaching, Daz and I had a nice steak and chips for lunch as there were rumours that everything would be closed later. Daz, Jess and I managed to find a bar with a generator and we stayed there until late. As we left the storm was picking up but the moped riders were still there to take us to our hotel.

The storm hit big time at about 02.00, the window shutters were banging in the wind and a little water was coming in under the balcony door. We fastened the shutters and got our bags off of the floor and with earplugs in I went back to sleep. We awoke at 08.00 with the bedroom flooded, the hotel was full of water, there was a big hole in the roof and a river running down the stair wells - there was no electric or phones. I helped the staff mop water for a while (I have a lot of training for this!) but it was pretty futile. Lots of people helped and the friendly staff were constantly smiling and helpful. I spoke to a girl who was desperate to get to her family home near the beach and was worried about her family - she later told me they were fine but there home was ruined. The hotel gave us noodles and by 11.00 it had died down enough for us to go and inspect the damage - lots of damaged roofs,

trees down and flooding but it was good to see how quickly the Vietnamese people went about sorting everything out and opening their shops again, most without electric. In the evening the hotel provided us with more free food, we went out for drinks at an excellent bar with good music and taught Daz and Jess 'shithead' which I ruled at, i also beat Daz at table footy which left him demoralised and wondering why i am so good at everything! The hotel was locked when we got back so I shouted up to Oscar's room and he came and let us in which was a relief as the streets were pretty wet!

Not surprisingly, our flight to Nha Trang was cancelled and there were no buses - we were forced to stay in Hoi An a while longer and revise Darrens carefully laid plans, booking flights to HCMC for 58 dollars each, but Hoi An is a nice place to be stranded and the sun came out for a bike ride to the beach. The sea was pretty rough and deposited loiads of storm debris on the beach in the afternoon which the locals went about sorting through and clearing up. In the evening the streets were noisier than before and all the restaurants were busy. Kids everywhere were doing the dragon dance to the sound of a loud beating drum.

At the airport check-in, the electricity generator failed and i expected massive delays to result but all was ok. We arrived in HCMC in pouring rain and flooding. The next morning Daz, Jess and I took a bus to Mui Ne beach where it was hot and sunny, we found a nice place by the sea (Hiep Hoa resort), went for a nice lunch (tuna steak), put on sun cream, poured with rain so sorted out my emails and banking. We all went for happy hour cocktails and played some doubles pool.

The next day the weather kept changing, we did boogie boarding, ate lunch by the sea (barracuda in spicy coconut sauce) and Daz tried to teach Jess and I the basics of surfing - it was hard work but we both managed to stand up on the board and i enjoyed it enough to want to try again in Oz. In the evening we went to a fantastic restaurant where i had BBQ seabass for 5 dollars. We went for happy hour cocktails and played pool doubles against some annoying drunk lads, one annoyed Daz by standing over the pocket he was aiming for so I finished off with a well cocky 'colour of money' shot staring straight at the lad - he wasn't amused.

I decided to stay a bit longer in Mui Ne, Daz and Jess were due to leave on an 09.00 bus for HCMC which was cancelled due to a breakdown. They ended up getting a 55 dollar taxi to make sure Daz could get his 14.00 flight. As soon as they left the sun came out and i had a sweltering day on the beach. Sampled some street food, stamed dough balls with a minced pork and egg filling, not bad.

20th - 27th September - (Mui Ne beach - Vietnam)

In Dien Bien Phu my money situation was starting to look a little low, with this in mind i managed to convince the hotel to change my 10 pound note into Dong for a les than favourable rate (they will only be able to change it in Hanoi). The bus driver from Dien Bien Phu to Sonla tried to charge me an extra 20,000d on top of my 55,000d ticket for my large rucksack - although this is about 70p, my funds are low and i have a suspicion that this is just a trumped up tourist charge so i stand my ground - the drivers assistant also tries but they give up when i go to get off saying i will ask at the ticket office - a small victory which i started regretting later when my bladder had got to the point where i had to ask them to stop the bus (usually they have stops every couple of hours). By this point i had made several local friends at the back of the bus as they all were fascinated by my mp3 player, i passed it around for them to hear Morrissey which they all seemed to enjoy. With these guys on my side the bus soon stopped much to my relief.

I arrived in Sonla in the early evening, checked in to a nice hotel and went out for some bia hoi (draught) at 2000d each i was soon a little tipsy, there were no food menus and my vietnamese efforts weren't working so i went hungry.

The next day was spent doing a lot of walking, using my nearly invisible photocopied lonely planet map to find an old french prison, virtually destroyed by wars, a war memorial garden and a very hot steep midday climb to a lookout tower.
Buildings here are usually 2-4 stories, very narrow and deep, usually with only the front painted - apparently there is some sort of tax based on house width. I went into the goat restaurant but with no English menu, decided not to risk it so ended up in a shabby cafe (also with no menu) drinking bottled beer (they didn't even have beer hoi!) and eating cold cuts of beef with rice. I was surrounded by friendly blokes who kept speaking to me in Vietnamese, undeterred by the fact i couldn't answer them, i didn't even have the lonely planet with me for some basic phrases!

My hotel didn't know the bus times so i decided to get to the station and wait. As my motorbike taxi got to the station the Hanoi bus was leaving so the timing was perfect. The bus was decent enough but the large briefcase under my feet made things a bit cramped. The bloke next to me spoke a little English, he also fell asleep and headbutted my shoulder on every bump and dribbled on me! I haggled a motorboke taxi from 40,000d to 30,000d to get from Hanoi bus station to the old quarter, the ride was scary and with nothing smaller i handed him 100,000d, he gave me some change and rode off quickly as i counted the bundle of notes, so i actually ended up paying 60,000 (great haggle!) I booked a decent 10 dollar room for the night, went out for bia hoi and some great food. I found my way to a bar with a pool table with the biggest roll i have ever seen where i lost a Baileys to the girl running the bar. I like the old quarter but it's a bit manic - the pavements are full of parked mopeds so there is nowhere to walk but the road where there are cars, mopeds, bicycles and people whizzing about - not good after a couple of drinks!


My mate Darren arrived on the 23rd so i moved across to the 45 dollar room he had booked on the internet (such decadence!) I spent some time watching premiership build up until Daz arrived at 15.00. The evening was spent with food and beers and watching Liverpool beat Spurs 3-0. I taught Daz a pool lesson and he pulled a New Zealand girl on his first night in town!

Here is a video of the Vietnamese electricity board...



Daz, jet lagged, slept until midday, then we went out to the Ho Chi Minh museum and the army museum. We spent some time admiring Hanoi women, who must be the fittest women in the world. Food drink and another pool lesson for Daz, a 03.30 finish and a 07.00 alarm for our bus trip to Halong bay. In the afternoon i phoned Carly who was making Sunday roast for the family - i could almost taste it!

On the bus to Halong city, Daz slept while i spoke to an aussie couple who ended up getting on to a different boat, but we saw them again several times over the next 2 weeks. On the boat we made friends with Declan and Edel from Dublin, about 27 years old, and we got on really well - there were only about 15 people on our big boat which had surprisingly spacious bedrooms with toilet and shower. Daz and i were next to the engine room which ran all night to provide electricity, my earplugs did the trick but Daz didn't sleep too well.
The weather was overcast and rainy but the views of the 1,969 limestone islands that surrounded us was impressive. We visited a massive cave with a ceiling worn smooth by water and large stalagmites/tites. The food on the boat was pretty good and as the weather prevented us from trekking or kayaking on the first day, Edel and i sampled some Vietnamese red wine which turned out to be good enough for a second bottle. Daz and Dec went for the beer.

The following day was again overcast with rain storms but we managed a little trekking as well as some kayaking and swimming while the sun was shining. Surprisingly, the 59 dollar tour 2 night tour included a very nice 3 star hotel on Cat ba island where Daz and I went for a 7 dollar massage with no happy ending which was a shame as the girl was cute! The massage was quite relaxing, followed by good food then we met with Dec and Edel for beer and wine and another excellent night.

The trip back to Hanoi seemed long. Our 19.00 train to Hue was now at 23.00 so we killed time by researching and booking a flight from Danang to Nha tran for Sunday for 48 dollars each - this flight was destined not to happen and we lost 12 dollars on the booking fee. Another pool lesson for Daz!

12th - 19th September (Dien Bien Phu - internet cafe undergoing noisy renovations!)

My early impressions of Vietnam are not great; I am dissapointed by the route from Mai Chau, the settlements we pass through are of scruffy concrete buildings instead of the beautiful bamboo hut villages i have been used to in Laos, there is rubbish strewn everywhere and the vehicles kick up dust from the roads. My first impressions of Hanoi are worse;
i get off the bus to a throng of motorbike taxi riders shouting, waving and pulling at my arm - at this point i don't know where in the city i am (as there are a few bus stations) or where i am going (my first priority is to find an ATM). I speak to a bus station official who points me towards the nearest bank, he says 1km so i start walking with my big rucksack on my back. I walk for at least 1km in the city heat with hassle from moto taxis every few seconds, and find a bank, they tell me i need Vietcom bank, 1 more km. After about a km i find another bank, they also tell me i need Vietcom bank, another km. Eventually i get there and to my relief get some money and by this time i know where i am on the map, and am resolute not to take a mototaxi, i have a lot of time to kill as i intend taking the night train out of here so i walk the remaining 4km to the train station hot and exhausted with an occaisional stop for food and cold beer. I arrive at the train station with three hours to spare sitting on a plastic seat reading whilst very loud Vietnamese tv blares out 'who wants to be a millionaire' among other things. The train is six to a cabin and the bunks are narrow and hard, i don't sleep too well.

The train arrives in LaoCai and a minibus takes us on to Sapa and drops us at the summit hotel, a little way up the hill from the main part of Sapa, the rooms are very nice and the view is terrific. 8 dollars. I explore the area, enquire about a trek up nearby Fansipan mountain but nowhere seems to be running this as a group trek, so book a less strenuous 3 day hill trek for 45 dollars and then walk up some nearby hills for good views of the town, mountains and valleys.
It's a lovely hot day but a nice cool breeze in the hills.

Sapa also has an abundance of mototaxis but they are not too pushy.

The trek group are made up of a Spanish couple, an aussie guy and an English guy - they are a decent bunch. Our trek guide is a 19 year old Hmong girl in traditional costume called Sisi, she speaks a strange cockney/aussie english and is very funny. There are several other small groups with young Hmong girls leading them. We do a fair bit of walking, beat some rice out of it's stalks, swim in the beautiful, freezing cold river and then stay with a Hmong family who speak no English but communicate via the medium of raising a shot of rice wine, i get through about 15 shots,
the old man of the family is drunk and can't stop laughing. Sisi cooked up some great food and we played cards into the night.

Suprisingly there was not too much of a hangover although the stomach felt a bit iffy. The rest of the group had only booked a two day trek and left about 2 o'clock in a jeep, leaving Sisi and I to trek some more and stay at another home where we ate and drank but a much quieter affair than the previous evening.

The final day started gently enough with a beautiful ice cold swim, but after that a two hour walk straight up hill in the sun. We ate noodles for lunch then had 17km mototaxis back to Sapa. I got a new hotel room in the centre and showered before phoning mum to wish her a happy birthday. In the evening Sisi took me to a dingy cheap restaurant where the locals eat, there are no menus, just a glass cabinet where the uncooked meat and fish sits looking a bit ropey. We had some fish, chicken and beans with rice and it tasted better than it looked. We watched some rather odd, unenthusiastic traditional dancing and music playing.

The following day was a Sunday so Sisi was off work, we hired a manual motorbike which took some getting used to. With Sisi on the back we went to Lao Cai where i hoped to get some money out of the ATM, apparently not for foreign cards on a Sunday! We looked around some shops and ate noodle soup with some horrible fatty, boney pork in another dingy locals restaurant. Back to Sapa for warm clothes and waterproof jacket before a ride to the waterfall - very cold and foggy, my toes were freezing as i was wearing sandals. In the evening i treated Sisi to pizza and pasta in an expensive restaurant, she had never tried either and loved the penne bolognese, at these prices i doubt she'll ever eat it again. Sisi is really sweet and i think she has a bit of a crush on me (well, she's only human!) I leave tomorrow.

According to Lonely planet, the public bus to Lai Chau takes 7 hours, in less than 3 hours the bus drops me off at a place called Lai Chau, strange! I ask a mototaxi rider for Lan Anh hotel (in the lonely planet), he double checks my request like this is strange then we ride for 40 minutes out of Lai Chau while i get more confused. The scenery on this stretch is breathtaking. Eventually we get to a Lan Anh hotel where i meet 4 aussies about to leave in a jeep with their driver and guide so i tell them about my confusion. Apparently this is the new Lai Chau, the old one (90km away) in the book is slowly being deserted as it will be flooded by the new dam. There is not much there and not much here either so i take them up on their offer of a ride to Dien Bien Phu as it is further south towards Hanoi but also west towards the Laos border. The ride in the boot is a little cramped and i don't see much of the pleasant scenery.
We stop at a village where the kids huddle around the cameras and giggle at the resulting pictures.
I've noticed that some of the kids are fascinated by my hairy legs and arms as men here are pretty hairless. The 10 dollar hotel room in Dien Bien Phu is very nice, i eat with the friendly aussies, 2 couples about 50 years old (you're never too old to travel!), they give me their details and say i am welcome to visit them in Oz.

In the morning the aussies leave for their guided jeep tour. I walk around until i find the war museum, cemetry and A1 hill where the decisive battle that sent the french packing took place. I'm not really that interested which is why i hadn't intended coming here but ther isn't much else to do.

After 3 months of travelling i have spent about 1900 pounds, 20.90 pounds per day, which with all the travel, diving, climbing and trekking i don't think is too bad.

10th - 12th September (Sapa)

The border crossing i decided on is fairly new to tourists and there is not much about it in the lonely planet, but i didn't want to head south when my destination is north so i risk it. I get to the border ok where i meet a couple going the other way and exchange my leftover kip for their dong (yes, dong, stop giggling Phil), they told me, as did the Americans that buses don't run from here to anywhere in Vietnam, they say i will have to hitch or get a motorbike taxi.

The immigration is fun; a row of 4 huts, i go to each one in turn, having passport, and visa inspected and stamped several times, filling out a form, going to another office to have it checked and stamped, back to another to check my baggage (not very thoroughly) and finally walk 200m to the Vietnam side where they check my passport and visa again. The official told me that the motorbike taxi is expensive and i should bus 100km east to Thanh Hoa, 200km north to Hanoi, and 100km west to Mai Chau (my intended destination), i am wishing that i'd taken the bus through the crossing to the south straight to Hanoi for 25 dollars which at the time seemed expensive. I haggled a guy down from 40 dollars to 30 for a 140km numb bum 100cc motorbike ride to Mai Chau. It took about four and a half hours. The villages are more concrete eyesores than the quaint little huts of Laos but all the kids shout 'hello' when they see the white bloke on the back of a bike, the young ladies seem excited to see me as well but that is nothing new! I arrive at Lac village in Mai Chau where the staff are friendly and one speaks reasonable English which is always handy. It's a small village of stilt houses with a few tourist guest houses surrounded by paddy fields and mountains with only tvs and motorbikes to detract from the isolation.
I watch some kids having great fun with a cardboard box, i come back an hour later and they are still loving it - who needs playstation? My motorbike taxi adventure has left me with only 45 dollars and i am worried that it will not be enough to take me on my planned route with three stops before i next get to an ATM in Sapa, especially as i want to do treks and see the sights of the places i stop in otherwise what's the point?

Hoa, the woman who runs the guest house telephones her sister and then assures me there are now ATMs in Hoa Binh which i could get to on a motorbike taxi for a 14 dollar, 140km round trip, i'm not too sure but she convinces me.

There is no ATM in Hoa Binh and the banks will only exchange dollars and euros, my plastic, baht and pounds are useless. A waste of time and money and now i have no choice but to take the bus to Hanoi and abandon my route. I fancied drinking but now every dong counts. In the morning i leave for Hanoi having not seen much of what Mai Chau has to offer.

6th - 9th September (from internet cafe in Sapa, Vietnam)

There is only one ATM in Laos, that is in Vientiene. On the morning i leave i take out the maximum amount of kip, approximately 70 dollars. Even if i got more i doubt i would be able to change any leftover kip as it's a currency that nobody really wants. I have about 50 US dollars, some thai baht and some uk pounds that i hope will be of use in Vietnam until i next get to an ATM.

The public bus to Phonsavan is fairly empty and no tourists, the next few places i stop at are not on as popular a tourist route as the previous ones. The journey is hilly and windy with beautiful green scenery, the villages are more frequent htan before but there are not so many satellite dishes but i did see some kids riding pretty decent mountain bikes. My 3 dollar room in Phonsavan smels of damp, there is no ventilation. The town is seriously quiet in the evening - there is nothing going on.

Phonsovan is not so quiet in the morning, my guesthouse is on the main road and the traffic gets going about 0500. I go on a tour with a Japanese couple to the plain of jars. There are several sites around this province with a total of over 5000 large stone jars scattered about the hills.
We go to the largest single site with about 340 jars, the reasons for them are uncertain but it is possible that the dead were placed in the jar so that the soul could rise up to heaven, the body would later be removed and cremated. I prefer the story that they are whiskey vessels for the gods!
Much more entertaining was our afternoon visit to Hmong villages where some of the kids looked like they had never seen a camera before, i took some great pictures of the kids and also my favourite one of an old woman.
We saw temples and stupas bombed by the U.S. Saw how rice is produced, how swallows are caught and fermented to be sold as a delicacy and some silk worms for silk production.

With no brekky, a real bone shaker of a public bus with uncomfortable bench seats to Sam Neua. The engine sounded awful, it drowned out my music and the driver kept stopping to repair something. The whole bus rattled and creaked. We were held up for 30 minutes by a broken down lorry in the middle of the road. The highlight of the journey was trying to communicate with Monica, a cute 20 year old Laos villager, her English was only a little better than my Laos. Again i was the only tourist on the bus. All the cows and buffalos live on the roads and grass verges and they look pretty healthy - i kept expecting a 'me, myself and Irene' moment!

I found a nice 5 dollar room from the lonely planet and spoke to four friendly Americans in a restaurant, they were going the opposite way to me so we exchanged information. 2 canadian lads showed up going the same way as me. We all drank beer and some shots of the rice wine that makes you blind!

While in Sam Neua, i got a bus to Vang Xai caves where i had a personal (as nobody else was there) guided tour of 3 caves converted into living accomodation / strategic headquarters where some of the top brass hid from the Americans during the Indochina war (Vietnam war as the Americans call it). The guide spoke little English and i would have been interested to hear more about the caves but it did only cost 3 dollars. Met the canadians back at the restaurant where we all had a great steak and chips for 25,000kip, bargain. Over several beers, i taught them shithead and they taught me a good game called Yanif.

1st - 5th September

In the morning i walked up Phou si hill to get a good view of Luang Prabang, it's bigger than i had realised and the view was clear, on the route down the other side there were several buddahs and a monk who i chatted to - he let me take his picture.
I wondered why there are no buildings here on the banks of the Mekong unlike in other parts such as Pak Beng. I checked my emails and found my mate Darren had booked his flight to Hanoi for the 23rd September for a 2 week holiday so now i am spending a lot of time thinking about how best to spend the next three weeks and arrive in Hanoi. However i do it i'll either spend a fortune on flights or a long time on the bus. An Aussie bloke told me there was a public bus that takes 26 hours from Vientiane to Hanoi which would most likely be pretty cramped. I'll see if i can make a number of smaller journeys but that may mean stopping off in some pretty remote places.

At 12.30 i got on the public bus to Viang Viene, a halfway point to Vientiane. The aile is knee high with big bags of sugar and there is no air conditioning, but everyone has a double seat (my luggage takes up one seat) and the wide open windows make it quite cold. The views from the roads through the mountains are so much more spectacular than from the Mekong. We could see for miles and miles of unspoilt green valleys and mountains, we stopped at the occaisional roadside village where the thais on the bus would buy fruit and veg, hardly any of it i recognised but i think there was sugar cane and tiny colourless corn on the cobs. Other villages we passed through filled with kids playing in filthy raggy clothes, people washing at the one communal tap or kids carrying back water along the road. It looked like poverty but the land had provided plenty of food, and they had huts with satelite dishes and the glow from the television inside and all the kids looked happy.

After about 7 hours the bus stopped and everyone got off so i checked into a hotel and went for food where i bumped into the Aussie from the bus who told me this was Kasi, just a food stop and we still had an hour to go. I fetched my bags and handed the key back to a bemused girl who spoke so little English that i didn't even try to explain.

In Viang Viene i had food and Lao dark beer whilst sitting in one of the many tv bars showing 'friends'. I slept well in my 3 dollar room smelling of paint. In the morning i looked around; Viang Viene is a cluster of guesthouses, travel agents, restaurants and internet cafes at a t-junction surrounded by mountains, a real blot on the landscape. Nothing great about this place but there are a lot of backpackers passing through. I booked a bus to go at 13.30 today to Vientiene but the chap for some reason booked it for tomorrow, he apologised and told me there were no more leaving today apart from a pick up truck where i would be standing the whole way, could have been an adventure but i booked an air con bus for tomorrow morning and checked into another hotel without the smell of paint. At least i have plenty of time to kill by catching up on my blog. I went to an internet cafe to burn a cd of my pictures but the computer had a virus and corrupted my memory card, i spent a lot of time trying to recover lost pictures but with no luck. Later i found a guy who copies albums onto mp3 so i now have 9 new albums to keep me happy for only 9 dollars.

The following day on the bus to Vientiene, i started reading 'A short history of tractors in Ukranian', listened to my great new music and met Angela and Emma, sisters from Sheffield who must get on really well as they do a lot of travelling together.

Vientiene is a lot more spread out than Vang viene and if you find the right cafes and bars is pretty chilled out but there doesn't seem to be all that much to do in the day.
I hired a bike for a day and cycled around in the scorching sun (with a bit of a hangover!) and sweated like a scouser in a idendity parade. I spent the evenings with Angela and Emma and had a very good time. The only problem was that the hotels have curfews so we went back to our hotel, took some beers and played shithead.

I found a fuji shop that managed to retrieve my corrupted photos which i was very glad of because they included the long neck women. I took a local bus, packed with locals to the Buddah park; a bizarre collection of huge concrete buddhist and hindu figures and a giant concrete pumpkin that you can walk around the 3 levels inside where there are more small strange figures; you'd just have to see it to believe it!

The girls left before me so i spent one more evening in a bar where i watched a 60+ rat faced, grey pony tailed man with a local girl on his lap maybe 18 years old - nice one fella!

31st August - The waterfall adventure!

Had booked up 2 trips for today. The morning boat trip was to some boring caves which had become temples filled with buddahs and concrete steps. The highlight was stopping at a small village on the way back where they make Lao whiskey. After some tasting i took a small 1 dollar bottle of the stuff that doesn't make you blind. The trip was due back at 12.30 but got back at 13.20, giving me just 10 minutes to find a street vendor for noodle soup which i scoffed down as quick as possible and a small portion of sticky rice wrapped up in a banana tree leaf to take away.


The afternoon bus journey was to a big waterfall, i took some photos from the bottom but there were steps to the top which i started to climb. People coming down said that the views were great and you could swim up there. I got to the top, where the path ran out and got to the edge of the big waterfall but couldn't see where the views were from or where to swim, so i tried to go around the fast flowing water through patches of mud, smaller streams and jungle, after a while i realised i was getting nowhere and a lot of the streams were too deep or fast and the mud too boggy so i decided to go back. I walked in so many directions that i got lost and the fast streams and mud kept stopping me from going where i wanted to. The straps of one of my shoes broke and i lost it in the mud. I tried to follow the flow of the water but i would get cut off and so many streams seamed to be flowing in different directions. I would listen for the waterfall but kept getting to smaller ones. I was starting to worry, i found a pomelo tree and picked one just in case i was stuck here for a while, i started calling out but nobody could hear me over the roar of the water. My minibus was due to leave at 16.00 and i wondered wether they would just go or tell someone. I wondered how long, if at all, it would take to send someone to find me. I started thinking about how to survive a night in the jungle. I know all of this must sound really melodramatic, but i was trying to think clearly whilst being scared out of my wits, and i felt like i was getting weaker with every step. I felt homesick. Eventually i got back to the edge of the waterfall and down the hill wearing my one shoe. I was 30 minutes late and the minibus was still waiting. I pulled off the leach that was feasting from my foot and went back to my hotel for a shower, where i found blood on my bollock, the cause of which was a hole a leach had left on the adjacent inner thigh. I went out for a drink in the evening and it felt like nothing had happened. I went to bed at 22.00 and went straight to sleep, at about midnight there was a knock at the door, Tom and Eimer had come to say goodbye as they were leaving the next day, they're a nice couple and i hope i bump into Tom in Oz.

25th August - 30th August

On the 25th i woke up thinking of leaving for Laos, but at breakfast i bumped into Janna and Cathy who i had spoke to briefly before, they were going to do a thai cooking class so i decided to tag along.
It cost 800B and was excelent fun, we had to eat everything we cooked, which was a lot, spring rolls,green curry, massaman curry, veg fried rice, ginger chicken and fried bananas in coconut toffee for desert which dad would love. I booked up a trip with the girls for tomorrow who, like me felt a little disappointed by the hill tribes, then went for a quick afternoon drink with them which turned into a bit of a session as we were al chatting and having a good time.

The next day we were picked up at 07.30 and most of the day was spent inside an air conditioned minibus with an eratic driver and a chinese sounding guide called Art. The main objective of the day was to see hill tribes, particularly the 'long necks', in traditional costume. We ended up in a tourist market where 3 diferent hill tribes, in traditional clobber had lots of stalls, all trying to sell us pretty much the same stuff (mainly hand woven scarves, necklaces, bracelets and shit).

Managed to take some good photographs but it was a pretty dull day really. In the evening i wanted to go to the Thai boxing but found it is on every night except Saturday.

Took the 13.00 bus to Chiang Khong, first class was all that was available, with air con and a really loud tv playing thai music videos and films the whole way, i could even here it over my mp3 player on full blast.
I met Tom and Eimer, both from Cork university. Spoke to them for quite a while, they are here on holiday and Tom will be going out to Oz around November as well so could meet up somewhere. We arrived at about 20.00 in the pouring rain where a woman persuaded us all to stay at her guesthouse. My room and shared bathroom was a bit dingy but it was only 120B. We ate there and the guy who runs it, a frenchman from Taihiti showed us a load of photos on his laptop. Taihiti looks like the nicest place in the world (bit of a honeymoon haven).
In the morning we paid 1600B for our Laos visa and crossed the Mekong to get the visa stamped, then with Tom and Eimer and a german couple, onto a long boat bound for Pak Beng. The boat was crowded with wooden benches seating about 100 passengers (mostly tourists) and it stopped at various places along the way where people
would either come on the boat to sell us drinks and snacks or load on cargo which filled the roof of the boat and gradually filled the aisle (big bags of rice or sugar). The Mekong is tea coloured with lots of swirling eddies littered with debris, mostly logs but we did see a bloated dead dog. The boat swings from side to side to avoid the debris. The scenery is nothing but green hills and the very occaisional village. Despite my blow up cushion (thanks for that piece of advice Richie B), my arse was numb and i was glad to get off in Pak Beng at 17.30 but geting the bags off was chaos and i lost my rag at a local when after waiting for ages and then searching the back of the boat in vain for my bag, found he had taken it off for me and wouldn't let me take it until i paid him - after some choice words i took my bag and he got nothing. During this time i had also been harrassed by blokes selling various guest houses and all kinds of drugs - amazing in such a tiny village. We all checked in at a nice hotel, and i haggled my room down to 250B while the guy who works here was still trying to sell me weed. Tom, Eimer and myself found an excellent Indian restaurant. The currency here is the kip, it suffers from massive inflation (from 11,000 to the pound in 2001 to 18,000 now) so the US dollar(10,000 kip:1 dollar) and Thai baht (260 kip:1 baht) are widely accepted and preffered, but whenever you get change it is in kip.

We were back on the boat at 08.30 the next morning bound for Luang Prabang, there were less seats this time but an empty space at the back where we could lean against the sides of the boat and stretch our legs. A couple of stops on the way and we were huddled into a tiny space with our knees under our chins. I was very glad to get off at 17.45, and this time i managed to get straight to my bag and the reception committee was much less intimidating. We found a really nice guest house 5 minutes walk from the main street for 200B - apart from some tiny ants making a constant march through my room this could have been a room in a 3 star hotel back home. Laos was colonised by the french (for most of the 19th century i think) and Vientiane has lots of french buildings. It was awarded a world heritage site status in 1995, has a very laid back atmosphere and has a night market which doesn't sell fake designer gear but mostly hand made fabrics, clothes, lampshades (made from the local paper with flowers pressed into it) etc. There is very little hassle from the traders here, just a 'Sawadee' (hello) if you show some interest. Beer Lao has given Tom and I both slightly dodgy stomachs, now I have discovered Lao dark beer which is more expensive and tastes like Newcastle brown ale, it's not available everywhere but it's bloody lovely.

The next day, i went walking around Luang Prabang with the sun burning my head and neck, loads of temples (Wats) and buddah statues. The place is swarming with monks and the younger novices all wearing orange shawls and often carrying umbrellas, i spoke to a couple of them. A popular game for the local boys is throwing flip flops at a stack of picture cards, whoever hits the stack wins, i watched this for a while until the boy who lost all his cards started crying and the others left counting their spoils. Had lovely tomato soup with french bread for lunch and watched local men play boules in the afternoon, there is lots of cheering, barracking and laughing and the games are played for money from about 6000kip (35p) upwards, doesn't sound like much but probably is to them. In the evening i ate a nice rare buffalo steak in garlic sauce (garlic is nothing like as strong as back home) and drank while watching Wigan beat Reading. Tom and Eimer popped in for a drink.